The Thirtieth Day Of December (2010)

Looking at my life in six months intervals is pleasing. Today, I'm looking forward to returning to school and see if I can last another semester without running away from everything, again. I'm moving from a recovery house into a real house with a close friend, another blessing. Six months ago, I was graduating from an inpatient substance abuse program, and couldn't be happier. Six months before that, I had been in jail for the better half of a year and had no idea when I would be getting out. I was frustrated, angry, lost and depressed. And yet, I was safe, and clean. Six months further back, I was struggling with life, wanting to do the right thing for myself, but found a needle in my arm, pumping heroin into my veins. The old familiar comfort, accompanied by the insanity I know so well. The only thing I can think to accredit for these milestones in my life is God. And yes I just said that. ME, a once hopeless, helpless, careless, and faithless kid who thought I was destined to be a gutter junkie my whole life. Apparently, I have a greater purpose in this world. Unsure of what it is, I practice patience until it is realized. Tolerance and acceptance are also key elements to this spiritual journey I'm on. Another year is getting ready to pass, and instead of dwelling on things that have slipped through my fingers, I'm trying to focus on the good events that have passed. The positive choices I've made cannot be overlooked, or I have nothing to grant me any peace of mind, which for a guy like me, is difficult to find. Gratitude.